Quick Humor and Deep Thoughts

Just wanted to hop on here and share this...
I was reading an adventure romance novel the other day where the couple was basically trekking the desserts of Africa. They stopped to sit atop a sand dune for a picnic.
I had this split second thought....
How is she keeping her insulin cold in the dessert? 
I laughed out loud. Then I thought how nice it must be to trek across a dessert and not worry about your blood sugar.
I think it is so crazy how normal these things (diabetes care) can become! To where it is literally ingrained in us that our subconscious automatically imagines every person has to think about the same things.

Sometimes, I think that makes it easier. I know diabetes should never be an "after thought" per say, but it almost becomes completely natural to do all the diabetes things because, well, it has to be natural if we want to live!

There are definitely times that it does not come naturally to me to think about my blood sugar. I eat relatively clean, minus the occasional breakdown/binge, and my blood sugar remains stable and controlled most of the time (Thank the Lord!) so sometimes I truly do forget.

During this quarantine especially, I am out of my routine of taking supplies with me everywhere I go. My sister lives beside us essentially, so we eat dinner and do things with them often. I walked up the hill to her house for dinner with my parents the other night, and then after getting there and sitting down to eat, I realized I didn't bring any insulin.

UGH I was so frustrated to have to walk back home to get it, and by the time I got back they were all mostly done with dinner. Its days like these I wish I had a pump. Its a little harder to forget something that's attached to you 😆

My boyfriend reminds me via phone (we are long distance) to check my BG every night. Without him there are definitely times I forget or just am half asleep and decide I feel fine and don't need to. I know, not safe, but I can count on one hand the times I've went low in the middle of the night.

Either way, since staying home all the time, my blood sugar has been around 120 going to bed every night. I like that predictability! I think its because I'm not eating out and I don't eat processed sugar when I eat at home.

I hope you all are holding up. Know you have my love, thoughts, and prayers!

Loving my body (NOT as a plus sized social media influencer or totally toned, protein loving, gym-going junkie)

Okay so I had this grand post idea where I was going to share my current lifestyle choices with food, explain the change in my mentality towards food, and explain my whole journey towards that mentality as well as share how I drink my coffee and eat my salads.

Well I started typing all this and realized it was WAY too much for one post. Ha! So, we are going to start with the back story here in comparison to now, and I'll post soon about coffee and salads. This is where our story starts:

13-17 year old Kelby, when interacting with any girl close to her age:

 "OH MY GOSH if I hear one more girl say she needs to go the gym I am going to smack someone" 

"If one more average sized girl says she is fat again, I will smack myself"

"OH MY WORD YOU LOOK FINE please stop asking me 895 times if your hair looks okay!!"

Granted, this is coming from teenage Kelby. Lemme explain teenage Kelby to those of you who were fortunate enough to miss out on knowing me personally during this time of my life. Lets try to describe me in 4 words...well sentences/phrases and endless parenthesis...: 

1.  Baggy clothes (usually a floor length jean skirt and random patterned shirt)
2. "Messy" buns (Not the cute kind... imagine 4 ft of hair wrapped around itself and secured with ONE pony tail holder)
3.  Total disregard for any current fashions (meaning I probably did the OPPOSITE of what was trendy ON PURPOSE)
4.  Not even attempting to attract the opposite sex or fit in with other girls my age in any way, shape or form

I am not exaggerating. I literally did the opposite of what everyone else did because I detested girls who were hung up on themselves (even though, lets be honest, MOST teenage girls are like this because they are just insecure and trying to figure out life). But I was not like that. I ate all the cupcakes, did all the things that were NOT trendy or attractive, and just bee-bopped through life mostly happy and content with myself. 

I credit my parents and wonderful upbringing with this beautiful mentality, but also slightly faulty perspective of genuinely not caring about my body or looks.

I was dx with type one in 2015, at age 16, at which point I had lost around 10 lbs but easily gained it back with a few extra pounds in the next couple years. Contrary to what you think I'm going to say here, "I realized the importance of diet and exercise and fixed my mindset" I actually kind of spiraled downward. My whole mentality of type one was, "I can eat a cupcake if I want and you cant stop me" in addition to, "This disease doesn't have to control me or affect my lifestyle". Ouch.

That's not altogether wrong, but I was viewing everything SO wrong. My perspective was so twisted.

*Disclaimer: Just because I felt like I could live this way, did not mean I was always comfortable in my own skin. Everyone wants to have a flat stomach, be a certain "goal" weight or look a certain way in that perfect dress. But because my heart condition/perspective wasn't in the right place, I could never achieve what I considered perfection because I was either so afraid of being like every other girl and worrying too much about my body, or too caught up in not being happy with myself that the solution was stress eating or short term binges of exercising when I would get self-conscience. So I was a mess!

I love food.

Lets get that straight. A this point in my life I hated salads 😝, veggies, and anything that was not heavy in carbs and/or fats.

Food became my coping strategy

After a hard day at work, I would hit up a barbeque joint and eat away my feelings with fried chicken, potato wedges, hushpuppies and piles of honey mustard or ranch. (Imma be honest, my mouth is watering rn). I was sucker for sweets, but instead of just enjoying one, I couldn't stop myself and would eat and eat and eat until I just couldn't hold anymore (7-8 cookies later). What a rough spot to be in.

My sisters and mom kept pushing me to eat healthy, which always felt like somewhat of an insult, but was meant with all the good intentions in the world.

My endo told me that because it was easier for me than most people to manage my blood sugars, I should get tighter control of my spikes. I began considering the following:

Co 6:19  "What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?"

This was Jesus in response to my (then) perspective on my body: "WHAT?" 😂

Essentially, I began over 6 months ago trying to change my perspective on food. 

 I got on a bandwagon with my sisters and my mom and they helped me, supported me, and cheered me on. I now still get to eat good things, just with less of a focus on living to eat. I will go into more detail on just how I changed my eating habits and what that looks like for my diabetes in a future post, but right now I just want to say this.

I still love food!

I eat a good brownie, piece of cake, or box of french fries every once in awhile. But now, instead of not caring, I also keep in mind how these decisions are affecting my body. My arteries, my heart health, my blood sugar. These reminders help me reign in my tendencies to stress eat or binge sweets. My overall lifestyle has changed, but when I'm eating out or on Holiday I still get to enjoy food because I don't obsess over it. However, I eat GOOD yummy food that is GOOD for me on a daily basis.

Sure, I have lost weight and that's nice, but I am happier all around because I feel better and I know my body is happy because I am taking care of it. My diabetes management is SO much better too! Because I am eating purposefully.

Exercise is still hit or miss, I am not going to lie there. I'm still lazy. So we gotta work on that. 😂

But, what I want you to take away from this is: eating healthy does not mean you have to be obsessed with your appearance or body image. And being obsessed with you appearance or body image is NOT the right reason to eat healthy or change your lifestyle.

LOVING your body does not mean being happy with it being overweight and leading to health complications. You can prove to whomever that you are happy in your skin without being plus size.

Because truly loving your body means TAKING CARE of it. 

Wether that means your weight is a little above average or not. You can rest in knowing that you do what is best for your body regardless of if it lines up with cultural norms.

For me, my body is the temple of Christ. As a Christian, it is my duty to take care of my body to the best of my abilities, because I am commanded to.

So my friend, I hope you can find this happy medium and this beautiful balance like I have. Because I am loving this lifestyle!


P.S. I do actually fix my hair and wear clothes that fit me now (most of the time). Just needed to add that 😆

Larissa and Bailey

Larissa: The sweet, red headed young mom that came to church 13 years ago. Larissa with a tiny newborn girl and 2 year old little boy (who called me his girlfriend by the way for SEVERAL years, but lets not embarrass that NOW 15 year old!). 

Larissa: The type one diabetic that showed me her pump site one time. I remember thinking something crazy about how she changed her site... and I can't exactly remember what I thought but something like she had a thing that stayed in her all the time and she had to tap into it every three days? Like a port? I would later chuckle at the irony of this ignorance. 

Larissa: The first person I called after I left the Drs office with my type one diagnosis close to 8 years after we had met. She cried with me as I tried to explain everything to her through my tears and, "I'm okay I'm just scared".

Larissa: The only person outside of family that I let come see me in the hospital. She brought a stuffed horse and cards with hand drawn pictures from her babies. 

Larissa: The PANCREAS TRANSPLANT SURVIVOR and THRIVER who does not take insulin anymore, but continues to deal with the repercussions of being type one for 30 years before God gave her a new pancreas. 

Bailey: The girl I followed on Instagram when I discovered the massive type one community. She was type one and lived close (I didn't realize how close at the time) and didn't know anyone else with type one. 

Larissa: The oh so considerate and sweet person who I was unaware also followed Bailey. She contacted her (or the other way around) and said hey! we all have something in common, lets get together!

Bailey: The girl who relates to me on a personal level that many cannot. The girl who pulls her checker out before meals, injects insulin the same way I do, and FAWNS with me over Myabetic bags.

Bailey: The girl who offers her extra supply of Humolog when she knows I don't have insurance. The girl that gets and makes diabetes jokes and understands my lingo. The girl who I see barely once a year (but hopefully that will change soon). 

I love you both so much. Your support means the world, your company is precious. There is nothing like being with people who battle with, and for you. So shout out to my friends. My friends who understand. My friends who love to eat carbs with me (YAS queens!). My friends who buy me awesome Christmas presents. My friends who make me feel less alone on this journey. 

Ya'll are the BEST. 

 Bailey

Larissa

Dexcom & Smoothies

Absence makes the heart grow fonder... right?

Goodness, sorry for being so MIA, my life has been full lately with school, work, friends and family.

I had a super good day today. Not with my BG's (although that was my fault) but I just had a great attitude all day. The weather here was low seventies, and I was soaking it in after a cold dry winter.

 If you follow me on Insta, you know that my transplant friend loaned me her CGM. I am on week two with it, and, in contrast to the inaccuracy the first couple days I used it, it has been almost spot on this week. I run level all through the night (I'm talkin perfect- 90's) and haven't had it alert me to a low yet! I actually still have yet to experience a night time low- Thank you Jesus! So back to the CGM. I'm learning just how bad of a carb counter I am... When I have exact carb info (right off a box) I raise to around 130, then level out to 100's or 90's, but when I'm guessing....shew momma. I've hit 200's a couple times this week. The reason my BGs were off today? Well there are a couple.
Reason #1) I ate a quinoa bar for breakfast and its like oatmeal- Spikes my BG, then drops below 70 a couple hours later. I know now (thanks to some info from fellow type ones- Yay community!) that I should've had a spoonful of PB or some other protein to prevent that spike and drop.
Reason #2) Reason two is that I made some bad decisions. I ate some trail mix during class and later drank some of a starbuck's frappechino without blousing....... We are just going to leave that at "Do better next time", K?

Even with a funky BG day, I've been a happy girl. My room is clean and half of my laundry is clean and put away (yes, only half. Don't act like your perfect). And I am done with all my major assignments in all 3 of my classes! Now to just tackle finals!

I've been kinda interested in smoothies lately, but discovered I cant handle the ones that contain banana... I just cant do it. Its already such a mushy fruit...mushing it up more in a smoothie...just...bad idea.

So tonight I made my own smoothie concoction (instead of following a recipe)...

• Frozen strawberries
• Fresh blueberries
• Plain greek yogurt
• Unsweetened vanilla almond milk
• Honey
• Vanilla extract

I don't have any measurements, I just threw stuff in. And guess what? Its good! Hurrah!
I bloused 46 carbs, we will see how my BG handles it.
***UPDATE*** Ended up with super bad low right before bed. I'll probably cut that carb count in half next time!!!

I hope to do a Dexcom review pretty soon, and tell yall all about the JDRF women of type one conference I attended last weekend. So hopefully there will be more to come! Stay tuned!

~Slacking T1D

P.S. This weeks resolution? No sweets. And no meals over 45 carbs. That one skirt just isn't fitting right.... ya know what I mean?
P.P.S My Lantus alarm just rang for the third time...should probably add "Take Lantus on time" to the above resolutions...