Culicidaes

 Every time I write a new post, I find myself wanting to title it “The Struggle is Real”, and almost every time I remind myself that, although this is an excellent title I cannot use it for every single post. Even though it probably applies to every single post. Cause isn’t the struggle real, folks?

On a totally different topic, for some reason writing a post on blogger (the actual site) gives me writers block. Is this is strange? Yes Kelby, but we all know you’re strange so it’s fine. Okay, good. Glad we have an understanding. But for realz, I am so much more inspired when I type my posts out on word. Can’t you tell the difference?! I sure can. Of course, this could have a lot to with my mood, or my stress levels… or blood sugar. Who knows?

So now I am finally moving on to today’s topic. Culicidaes. Also known as, mosquitos. Of course I would like to say I had this scientific name stored in the recesses of this befuddled brain of mine, but we all know that’s not true and I just googled it to be impressive. Are you impressed?

See that red spot on my face? No it’s not a zit. It’s a mosquito bite. Or rather, the leftover mark of a mosquito bite from the night before this picture was taken. That night (at least I think this pic is from then) I was sitting on my sister’s couch watching a movie with her. Mind you, she is sitting right beside, that’s important info so store it. I got bit inside three times. Once on my wrist, once on my face, and the third time on my finger. I mean, who gets a mosquito bite on their finger?! A diabetic, that’s who. Grr Bobby Jean Piper (If you don’t get the Junnie B. Jones reference, you were a deprived child). I’m just too sweet, they can’t resist me (Sorry, we are back to the mosquitos now). My sister didn’t get bit not once. She’s just not sweet enough I guess.

Yours sweetly: Kelby, T1D, mosquito food court.

An Icee Revelation

So this one time I walked into a gas station and, temporarily forgetting about my (almost) dead pancreas, I came this close to buying a slushy.

1^st thought: *Gasp* those look ah-maz-ing

2^nd thought: It’s hot out, a perfect day for a slushy!

3^rd thought: And they don’t even cost that much!

Then, just as I was getting all worked up, a light bulb went off:

4^th thought: Oh yeah. I have diabetes.

Although I don’t often let this disease limit me when it comes to sweet treats, I had NO idea how to count carbs for a slushy. Not only did I think the amount of carbs would be too much for a normal day treat, I also wasn’t in the mood to take insulin. The thought of avoiding an injection was a more pleasant one than the thought of the cold cherry-coke slushy touching my taste buds.

As before stated, T1D doesn’t usually detour me from devouring sweets. I mean, let’s be honest here, Mickey D’s frappes are my weak point. I think I had three last week (hopefully my Mom’s not reading this…). A small Oreo frappe, my favorite, (thanks a lot person who introduced me- you know who you are) has 82 carbs. A small chocolate chip frappe has 110 carbs, a fact that I discovered yesterday after I already bought one because the Mickey D’s employee informed that they did not have Oreo frappes, even though the picture was clearly displayed on the menu (Uhhh can you say false advertising?!). Although I’m addicted to these things, in all fairness I only get one when I’m out with friends or, like today, traveling. I just happened to hang out with friends a lot last week. Frappes are probably so processed and terrible for me. Ew. I’ve got to kick this habit.

Healthy eating is something I aspire to pursue when I move out and have to buy my own food, but right now I don’t pay for food so I don’t complain, ya know?

Referring back to the slushy story, have you ever almost forgot you had diabetes? It’s all still fresh for me, so I guess it makes sense that I might have a momentary lapse in memory. Or does it?

~Absent minded T1D

Traveling

My blood sugar does not like traveling. Rather, it doesn't like high carb foods and lack of physical exertion. As I'm sure you've figured out, from last nights post and the sentences opening this post, my sugar has been wacky. Mostly high, but today I went low and this why (I think):

• We were eating food prepared at someone's home, so I didn't have an exact carb count
• I corrected for a slightly high BG (163)
• I also tried adjusting my bolus ratio
• I didn't have a calculator so I had to guess when dividing my carbs

So I corrected, but didn't re-check (I know, bad Kelby). In all fairness though, I was in a vehicle and I couldn't even wash my hands to check. When I corrected, my glucometer stated my BG was 88 but I knew better than that. I was pretty sure I was dropping fast, so I drank some juice. It was the lesser of two evils. I mean, don't correct and pass out, or correct without an exact number because I couldn't wash my hands, ya know? I ate some chips just a bit ago and didn't count or bolus for them. I had maybe a handful. 18 chips=19 carbs. I can have a 15 carb snack twice a day, so I figured the amount I ate was around that. Well I just checked and I was a little high, but feeling like I'm climbing. *Sigh*. Can't wait to get home and hopefully get this wackiness straightened out!

If these kinds of posts are annoying, just let me know. Ill move on to more relatable stuff eventually.

~Apologetic T1D

Troubleshoot

Current location: bathroom floor of our hotel

Current time: 10:55pm

Last four BG's

1. 7:57pm- 139
2. 8:50pm- 180
3. 10:34pm- 229
4. 10:49pm- 230 *after a bottle of water

 Last meal's carb count? 106 carbs, 7 units of insulin administered.

Cause of high BG? Probably all the processed junk I've been eating on this trip and lack of physical activity due to sitting on my bum in the car.

Ketones? Negative.

Action being taken? Almost finished with my second bottle of water, retesting at 11:05 to see if my BG is still rising or if it's decided to cooperate and drop for me.

Future preventative measures? Lowering carb insulin ratio for lunch and dinner from 15/1 to 12/1, trying if at all possible not to eat as much junk tomorrow and maybe try to get some exercise in.

Why don't you take insulin? Because my endo recommended no insulin before bed right now.

****UPDATE****
BG at 11:05pm is now down to 205. Goodnight folks!

Insurance = Assurance

Last Friday I was super ticked off and upset. Last time we talked to the medical supplier working with us to get my pump, they informed us that they would file with insurance and hopefully my pump would be on its way soon. That was almost a month and half ago. So after playing phone tag for about three days, I finally got the opportunity to ask what in the world was taking so long. The answer... made me mad.

My insurance denied my pump. They said it was because my blood sugar was under such good control. So in their opinion, I don't need a pump.

Obviously, the reps at my insurance company don't have T1D. The pump is not to give me better control because my A1C is bad, my last A1C was 5.6 ( Thank the good Lord!). The pump is so that I don't have to take a shot 4-6 times a day. Its for convenience, so that when I'm running late for school I can grab breakfast, press a couple buttons, and run out the door, instead of having to take the time to prep my needle, pen and skin for an injection. Plus- I just want a pump. Which may be selfish, I just think it would make my life a little easier. So how dare they say I don't need one?? You want me to have an unhealthy lifestyle before you will give me something to help maintain the already healthy situation of blood sugars? That's not fair.

All these thoughts and more have been running through my head the past 4 days. Until about 20 minutes ago.

Scrolling through Instagram I came across a diabetic account (check her out: @diabeticoutrage). One of the posts was about this young lady (the owner of the account) who's income does not support her medical bills, the bills resulting from type 1 diabetes. She posted about running out of Lantus and going without it for two nights, resulting in the development of ketones.

Holy cow. I'm a spoiled brat. Lord, forgive me when I complain about the insurance that gives me the ability to afford the medical supplies that keep me alive. Help me never to take my blessings for granted. I can live without a pump- I cant live without insulin. What a blessing it is to have the assurance that I can afford the supplies that sustain my life. 
~Blessed T1D

P.S. This is the first time I've mentioned Instagram, but I also have an account specifically linked to this blog. Check it out: @alittlebitofinsulin

Lows

When I was first diagnosed I remember thinking, How am I supposed to know when I go low? 
Ah ha ah ha. That was a good joke. Lets talk about low symptoms here for a sec. Thoughts that run through my head during a low:

• I am going to die of starvation
• Holy smokes, these hot flashes though 
• Legs, if you could work properly that'd be great 
• Why is my tongue not coordinating with my brain?

One of my worst lows yet was only 58, I believe, but it was one of those, I need to sit down and recover kind of lows. Our youth were working hard to prep a meal for a fundraiser we were hosting, and I'd been so busy I hadn't caught my early symptoms (fatigue, shakiness). When I finally realized I was low, I corrected with some carbs (duh, what else would I correct with? :b) then had to sit down and take a breather.

Well tonight at work I'm preeetty sure I went low. I was bagging drive through which had been slammed for about two or more hours. I started feeling tired (normal side effect of working in general though), and my legs didn't seem to feel right. Then I started having difficulties concentrating (also not really unusual). I didn't really have time to check my sugar. One, because we were so busy and two, drive through bagging is kind of a coveted position and showing your manager your interested enough to stay put may give you more opportunities to bag later on. Oh the joys of fast food.

Back to the story. I felt like those cartoon characters with the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. The conversation may have went something like this, Devil: "Just drink the Dr Pepper! If you go low you'll pass out!" Angel (or rather, my mothers voice ringing inside my head): "You know you need to check your sugar first, what if your symptoms are all in your head? You could go high later! *GASP*".

Well I drank the Dr. Pepper with nothing to go off of except the fact that I felt like I was trying to go low. I started feeling better though, and I checked my BG as soon as there was a break in the monsoon of cars. 125. Shew! 

Whats your most prominent low symptoms? Have you ever corrected without a number? 

Long Acting Insulin

Lets talk about it for a moment, shall we? Lantus and I have never gotten along. From the first injection at the hospital, to last nights affair. Lets start with the hospital story first.

Well, actually, let me describe long acting insulin's purpose to those of you reading who don't know what it does. Long acting insulin does just as the name implies- it acts over long periods of time to maintain your blood sugar. It absorbs slowly as apposed to fast acting insulin (ex. Humalog or Novalog) which works quickly with your body's digestive system to process your food. Fast acting insulin is takin 4-6 times a day (any time you eat or need and extra insulin boost to bring down a high).You take long acting insulin at the same time every evening and it works throughout the next 24 hours to maintain your BG.

Back to the hospital: Very first injection of Lantus happens the night I am diagnosed. The nurse injects it into the back of my arm and it stings going in (which it is apparently not supposed to do, but all insulin stings going in this gal). 5 minutes later the injection site was still burning, along with welting, and itching. My first thought- Great, I'm allergic to insulin. We call the nurse in there to take a look at my lovely little welt, and she states she's never seen it do that before. She will call the doctor and let us know what to do. She comes back with an icepack and says that the doctor said its just skin sensitivity. So we hold ice on it until it feels better. It did this for days after. I finally bought an icepack and just always had it ready when I took Lantus. Eventually it stopped welting, so that was good.

That was my first experience with LAI (long acting insulin. Your welcome for my made up, unofficial abbreviation :b). I set an alarm on my phone that goes off every night at 10 pm, because I've found I'm not very good at remembering to take Lantus. It frequently gets forgotten, especially when my phone is dead or I go to bed early. Which is a story coming up here in a sec. Before we talk about early bedtimes though, I want to tell another story.

One night, about a month ago, ten o'clock came around and I COULD NOT find my Lantus pen. Like, freak out mode, OH MY WORD what did I do with it. The night before I had taken it at work. I often work a closing shift which puts me getting off around 10:30, if not later, so I take my insulin at work. Another privilege of the pump my friends: No more having to stop in the middle of stuff for Lantus. If only my pump would get here.. another story for another time.

So I cant find my Lantus. I'm freaking out. Of course that was my last pen I had in reserve, and we have no 24 hour pharmacies around us. We called my emergency endo number and the sweet endocrinologist on call at the hospital told me to check my BG every 3-4 hours and inject fast acting insulin according to my sliding scale: "And hopefully you won't get ketones" she adds. Lovely. It was going to be a looong night. Before I went into panic mode, I called work to see if anyone was still there and if they could look to see if my pen was anywhere around. Long story short, my Mom and I made an 11pm trip to CFA to grab my Lantus pen that a coworker had found under one of our coolers. Dumb Kelby. Apparently it fell out of my pocket. BUT, I took Lantus that night and the inevitable all-nighter stabbing catastrophe was avoided.

Now we are to the whole point of this post, with a surprisingly shorter story than those above. I had a headache last night, went to bed at 9pm and accidentally turned of my Lantus alarm in my sleep instead of hitting snooze. Woke up at 7am, realized I HAD NOT taken and Lantus, told my Mom who preceded to say my FULL name in exclamation followed by a, "Check your sugar now!". It was 99. Wow! Gods good, right? I took Lantus right after I checked my sugar, then made it through the day without any major highs or lows. Thank God.

Moral of the story: Lantus hates me. The End.

Support Systems

Today I read over a friends new blog. Her posts are so real and full of raw honesty. She has been T1D for 30 years- she's kinda a pro. She also was recently diagnosed with gastroparesis. You can read more about her and her T1D journey over on her live journal. She is one incredibly strong lady folks.

 I first met her over 6 years ago, when her and her husband brought their little family to church. I connected with her son quick; he was two at the time I believe, and so sweet ; ) Her youngest wasn't but a few weeks old. I don't think I realized right away that she wore a pump, (she was and still is a pro at keeping that thing under wraps ; ) but we knew she had Type 1 diabetes. At the time, I had no idea what T1D was- I just knew the basics like most people. She wore a machine that helped keep her alive, pricked her finger alot, and always had snacks and juice around. As I got closer to her and family, I still never really asked about her diabetes much. Its not like that's who she was, she was just a loving, kind and wonderful friend. I never had an idea the struggles she went through.

I remember one particular time asking about her pump and how it worked. The way she explained it, I thought she just stuck that little piece of tape on and went. I didn't understand the needle part, or the fact that she had to change it constantly and couldn't just whip it off whenever she wanted to. The concept of the cannula was lost on me.

The part that saddens me about all this, is that I didn't care to ask. Sure, I loved her very much and wanted (still want) her to be healthy, but I never really cared to know why she had the machine attached, why she pricked her finger. What was blood glucose? Well who cares as long as she knew what she was doing and how to take of herself? I thought.

Oh my. How very wrong I was.

Larissa is the first person I called when I was diagnosed. We were on our way home from the doctors office to pack for the hospital when I called her. I was completely composed and fine until I heard her sweet voice on the other line- I sobbed so hard I could barely get out any words. I remember saying, (in between sobs) "I'm okay, its really okay. I'm just scared". She was very sweet and reassuring... Although looking back on it now I realize how hard it must have been for her to console. Its not like she could say, Oh its a breeze! You'll do great, no worries!

Throughout this journey Larissa has been one of my rocks. When I was trying to decide on whether I wanted to try a pump, I asked her to show me her site at church one Sunday. She has the whole pumping thing down to a science, I can never even tell where her pump is half the time. She very willingly showed me her site and also her Dexcom. She's always interested in whats going on with my diabetes, and I know she prays for me daily- this means the WORLD to me. Her support has been so fundamental in my acceptance of this disease. I hope she reads this- I LOVE YOU LARISSA!

So I said all that to say this, do you ever feel frustrated with peoples disinterest in this disease? I don't know about you guys, but I love to tell people about type 1 (hopefully this is not an attention-seeking trait, but rather a desire to educate). Sure, it can get awkward, especially when its strangers, but sometimes its just nice to vent on people and explain to them what you have to deal with everyday. Before being diagnosed, I had no real interest in learning about T1D. I like to think, well rather hope, that I am, in general, a pretty compassionate person.

But I have to say this. Even the most compassionate, loving people have NO idea what you face sometimes. That's why support from other T1Ds is crucial. I'm thankful tonight for my support system : ) Larissa is just one the few who have kept me sane through all of this. My family aslo, are always willing to learn and try to understand all the aspects of this disease. I have other friends, great ones that do their best to support me even though they don't necessarily belong to the diabetic community.

Of all those people though, Jesus is my favorite : ))

BAD Days

Have you ever had a bad day with diabetes? Not a bad day as in, my numbers are all over the place and I have no idea why because Ive done everything right, but a bad day as in, wow I ate too many carbs, didn't check my BG when I should have and didn't inject at the right time. Its about to get real y'all...

My BG is currently 235. You know why? I ate out all day, for starters. A biscuit for breakfast, a burger and fries for lunch, and Japanese for dinner. I also had ice cream after lunch, and a Klondike bar after dinner. I'm sharing this, not because I am unashamed, because certainly anyone who is as glutenous as I was today should feel a little remorse, but because I want you to know that sometimes a lot of times I mess up. 

My sugar likes to go high on Sunday evenings anyhow, so when I checked my BG before eating out with a friend this evening, it was no surprise I was tad high (166). I bolused as well as I could without an exact carb count, and ate, probably using too much shrimp sauce (contributing factor #1). Then, we stopped by Walmart and I bought Klondike bars (bad decision #2). I remembered I had forgotten to give a correction dose at suppertime so I injected 3 units for 28 carbs instead of two. Pretty rough management here folks- but I'm not done yet. When it came time for my nightly Lantus injection, my friend and I were in the middle of a movie. So what did I do? Put that off until 11pm, when I should have given it at 10 (bad choice #3). 

So this explains why my sugar is high and why I am a failure. Does anyone else ever just NOT care? Of course I care to certain extent, I don't want to go blind, lose limbs or go into kidney failure, but are there times in anyone elses life where you just wish diabetes didn't have to be the center of attention? That you could be careless and get good results? 

Unfortunately, this is not the way life works. In order to obtain good results you have to work hard.
"Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with all thy might".
Here's to a better controlled tomorrow.