Authentic

Not false or imitation; REAL, ACTUAL

True to ones own personality, spirit, or character

I don't struggle with the later. I feel like 98% of the time I am not afraid of being myself, and all that that encompasses. Even when that might mean drawing attention to myself and standing out, I've never minded being my normal, outgoing self. I've never minded the attention from dressing different and acting different as a Christian. Do you know what is hard for me though?

Being REAL about diabetes on my social media platforms. 

I don't mind being real with other diabetics, they get it you know? They don't see it as grumbling or complaining or feel sorry for the lot you've been dealt. They are just like, "Yeah girl! Tell me about it! I get it! It stinks!" without all the extra emotions and sad, "I'm sorry you have to deal with this" comments.

My diabetes Instagram page is public. That means that most you seeing/liking my posts are family and friends. Honestly, I just HATE being real with those people. I hate being vulnerable, feeing like I am posting about my difficulties for attention, or wondering if people feel sorry for me. 

Even in the hospital at 16, I didn't want the boy I was talking to to come see me in the hospital. I felt exposed, vulnerable and weak.

The truth is, no matter how well controlled you are, diabetes is HARD. No matter how cute and fun you try to make it, it's still multiple daily injections and squeezing blood out of your finger on the regular. Its still laying down at night wondering if its okay to go to sleep at 90 without a snack because you aren't sure you'll wake up if you go low. It still putting things on hold to check, bolus and rest when your body says you need to. 

I don't like that. I want to do whatever I want without worrying, I want to be independent, I don't want everyone to know how serious it is, because I can't stand being fussed over. 

I don't HIDE my diabetes, and I am not ashamed of it. But I am afraid of showing my weaknesses. Afraid to admit that sometimes I need a reminder to check my sugar, I need someone to run and grab me a snack. I HATE feeling dependent on other people. 

As a Christian, I strive to, "Do all things without murmuring and complaining" (Philippians 2:14-15). If I show I struggle, doesn't that mean I undermine God's ability to keep me? If I admit I am depressed and frustrated, doesn't that show I'm not fully surrendering my emotions to Christ?

The truth is, its easier to act like I have it all together. Its less embarrassing then being open and real about my daily life. But who is that helping? If people never know my weaknesses how can they ever see Christs redeeming power and strength? If I never show I'm struggling, how can people ever know I have been delivered? 

So here it is. I commit to you, my readers and followers, to try not to second guess my raw and real confessions. I commit to you to do my best to expose what life is truly like for me some days. I also commit, to always give the glory back to God for keeping me on those days!

I challenge you, whatever your struggles are, to be open and honest about them. Shed light on them. When it is brought into the light it can be dealt with! When exposed it is no longer a dark, hidden, thing, but something that is lit and can be explored and handled. 

How I Manage Diabetes without Insurance

Hey friends! 

It has been a minute. I want/need to get more regular about posting. I know no-one reads this blog currently, but I have to have some posts for people to back read when I get famous, right? 😉

I wanted to dedicate a post to explaining some of the programs and devices I use, that are cost effective, to help manage my medical conditions, as a chronically ill person without insurance. We are going to do this as a quick, 3 part post with a brief description of each one. 

Number One: GoodRX (Levothyroxine)

 

Okay, so I am sure some of you have heard of this. I am unsure of how it works, all I know is, my pharmacy has it on file and it automatically adds a discount to my prescriptions. The ONLY drug I purchase through my pharmacy is my Synthroid (Levothyroxine), which is what I take to manage my hypothyroidism. Its about $20 for a 90 day supply. Then where do I get my insulin and test strips you ask? This is a great lead-in to...

Number Two: RXSavers (Insulin)

Now, unfortunately, I am not completely sure how this works either. I did not sign up for this online, but rather, a third party insurance broker completed the paperwork for me when I signed up for private insurance at some point (my various attempts at gaining/keeping medical insurance is a WHOLE other story/post). Basically, the way it works is, I pay this company $50 a month, and they supply me with up to 7 prescriptions, which, of course, includes my insulin (I have not added levothyroxine, I'm not sure if I tried and it wasn't eligible or what) for FREE (well, minus the $50). I think that they petition various companies on behalf to enroll me in insulin assistance programs. The pros here are, of course, affordable insulin. They call me to confirm info, and make sure my Drs office receives the insulin, then I go pick it up. So far, I have not run out, and they automatically send it. They have also included pen needles in this order once. Also note: you are only eligible for the program is you make less than 46,000 yearly. Okay so, what about test strips? Cause paying for those suckers out of pocket would be INSANELY EXPENSIVE....

 Number Two: Center Health Nano Meter and Strips

I get 100 test strips a month, for just $20. I was skeptical of this at first, but honestly, it has been a life saver. The Nano is a meter that, get this, plugs into your phone (in Apple and Android options)! I have used it for several months with only 2 instances where I couldn't get it to work. Sometimes I have to unplug it and plug it back in to get it going, but probably 90% of the time it works beautifully and seems to be accurate. This biggest disadvantage, of course, would be, your phone dying. A way around that is just keeping your phone charged (ha!) or having your close friends/family members that you are with often also have the app downloaded, so you can use their phones. I will give a FULL review of this product soon I hope. 

So that's all! Please know that I would NEVER recommend going without health insurance if you have a choice. Someday I will share my full background story on this and the circumstances that have led me to being without insurance for the time being. If you do, heaven forbid, someday get stuck without insurance, or are currently in the boat with me, I hope that this information will prove useful to you. 

Stay True!